Things You Don’t Ask Your Bartender/ #Erotic Writer #Writerslife


Some of my readers may know I work part time as a bartender. I’ve never mentioned that I write erotica/erotic romance to the patrons or co-workers at the bar. But after a search on social media, (one of my co-workers friended me on Facebook) the secret is out. Word spreads, and now a number of customers are asking me some interesting questions.

I’m asked: Have you done all the kinky stuff your books? The short answer: Yes and no. The consensus seems to be that if you write erotica you live a sexually adventurous and kinky life. Stephen King writes about serial killers. I seriously doubt he killed people in order to accurately research HIS books.

How many strangers do you give explicit details to about your sex life? I may have done some: For example I’ve traveled to another planet to have a threesome with a hunky astronaut and a sexy shapeshifting dragon. BTW, that book is out of print right now, but I plan to republish it. It was an award-winning book too.

With a sly wink, patrons ask me in a round-about way: What kind of kinky stuff have you done? Maybe I have participated in a threesome with a couple of hot guys, or an orgy with numerous men and women, had some girl-on-girl interaction, been tied up and flogged until my bottom was rosy. Give me a minute, I’ll come up with a few more examples or fantasies. Should I tell those scenarios to strangers or the regulars at the bar???

That’s what they want to hear, right??? I’m the naughty writer, so I must live an extra naughty life. Nothing wrong with that! Hey I think I have a pretty sizzling sex life. But when talking to me in the bar, don’t expect me to tell you who I’ve fucked or what I’ve done. Feel free to read my books and then use your imagination. Many people believe that reading romance/erotica can enhance your love life. So read those hot, sexy books! And see where your imagination and fantasies will take you.

Don’t get me wrong, I love talking to people at the bar, and I love talking about writing, my books and sex, but sex topics at work, especially personal questions, put me in an awkward position.

I’m a writer, I can make up all kinds of stories. I’m good at research. I can choose to do ‘hands-on’ or research material in a less physical way. I’m on a number of websites and writers’ loops and know how to do research, know who to ask, and know where to go. I have visited a few adult clubs, like a BDSM club in New York City. People are very receptive to answer questions, allow you to observe, or teach you the right way to swing a flogger when you tell them you’re a writer and treat them with respect.

Other questions or comments I get: They want to freely tell me their sexual fantasies or experiences and how their adventures would make a great book. My answer to that is I’m working and other patrons at the bar may not want to overhear the explicit details while they’re enjoying a beer and a burger. Write your own stories or share your fantasies with your loved ones. It may kick up the heat in your love life. I have a ton of my own story ideas to keep me busy for years.





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